


playtest

by ncrthernlites



Category: Black Mirror, Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Black Mirror AU, Didn't need to watch it to understand it, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hallucinations, Playtest, Stock Exchange didnt happen, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 17:12:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12822210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ncrthernlites/pseuds/ncrthernlites
Summary: Harold and Root build a new system. Not a machine, but layered virtual reality. Entities of pixels in the real world, specialized to every user. Every new system has glitches, and every new system needs to be tested. With testing comes difficult test subjects and possibly unexpected, haunting results.Based on Black Mirror's episode of the same name. Concept used, plot not followed. Occurs as if the cannon simulations never happened.





	playtest

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is pretty bizarre and could've been better but I started it back in March and finally found the will to finish it.

_Prototype: Startup Test_

 

"So, what exactly are you about to do to me?" Shaw asked as she sat down. 

"I'm going to inject a miniature device-" Root began before Shaw cut her off. 

"Inject? Fuck that," Shaw began to get up. 

Root laid a hand on Shaw's shoulder, stopping her, "let me explain it before you give up." Shaw hesitantly sat back down, allowing Root to speak. "I'm going to inject a miniature device into the back of your neck. It will allow us to upload data to input the virtually simulated aspects into your real reality. It will be painless." 

"In English?" 

"I'm going to put a chip in the back of your neck so we can make you see things." 

"Have you tested this before?" 

"Yes, on rats." 

"And?" 

"Well, they couldn't really tell us what they were seeing but they seemed to be having a blast," Root said as she applied sensors on Shaw's temple. 

"And the brainwave monitor?" 

"Just to make sure you don’t become a vegetable." 

Shaw sighed, "are you sure this is safe?" 

"I wouldn't be testing it on you if It wasn't," Root placed a headband around Shaw's forehead, keeping her in place. 

Harold's latest project was interesting to Shaw, to simplify it. There's no way in hell she'd allow it to be tested on her, normally. But, since Root was Harold's little assistant in this, she agreed. In a designated area of the subway, equipment was set up around Shaw, who sat in the middle. Monitors connected to her and Root got the device that would be going into Shaw's neck. 

"This won't hurt, and you won't even notice it's there," she assured Shaw, going behind her. And she was right, in less than ten seconds, the device was pricked into the skin behind the top of her spinal cord, below her brain stem. With her medical knowledge, she was able to understand the science behind it. Not particularly the technology part, but she'll soon find out. 

Root went to the table in front of Shaw, typing on the keyboard. "I'm about to initiate the device. There may be some slight discomfort as the data uploads but should be over in no more than fifteen seconds. Are you ready?" 

Shaw breathed deeply in response, and Root booted up the system. A slight tingle sensation surrounded her neck but nothing difficult to handle. The headband that kept her forehead in place was lit up, lighting from one end to another like a loading bar. After fifteen seconds, a light beep sounded and the headband released. Root promptly got up, discarding it onto the table and checking the vitals of Shaw's monitors. All well, so far. 

"Feelin' good?" Root checked. 

"Normal." 

Root returned to the white table, placing a square piece of metal down on the table in front of Shaw. She sat again, going back to typing. Shaw sat up a bit, watching Root. She looked down at the metal. The perfect square was exactly a foot on each side, completely clean and showing Shaw's reflection clearly. 

"I want you to continue to look at the square and tell me what you see," Root said, continuing to look at her computer and type. 

In a few seconds, pixels began to form above the square. They came together, forming a Mario-like dog. It was animated and certainly 3D, interacting accurately to the way Shaw watched it. 

"A pixelated dog." 

"Okay," she typed something, "and now?" 

The dog became more cartoon like, keeping it's same colors and features. Somewhat like a dog you'd see in a kids cartoon. Like a cartoon Bear. Shaw was quite impressed with the graphics so far. 

"Same dog, more cartoon-ish." 

"And finally, now?" 

Suddenly, the dog morphed again and completely captured the essence of Bear. He sat on the table, too big for the metal square. Shaw was in awe, reaching out to touch him. He was only a virtual design, a hologram she was unable to touch. Shaw looked to her right, able to see the real Bear watching her through the gate that separated the main subway area and their designated area. 

"Sameen? What do you see?" Root got her attention. 

Shaw moved her vision back to the virtual Bear, still somewhat surprised. "Uh, Bear." 

"Does he look 2D, or pixelated?" 

"No, he... looks completely real." 

Root was typing the answers to the questions on another laptop to her right, "Can you touch him?" 

Shaw tried again, the dog glitching at the touch like a hologram. 

"No." 

"Is he interacting? Following your gaze, moving, sticking his tongue out?" 

"Yes." 

As she said yes, the virtual Bear jumped off the table. Shaw could hear the sounds he made as he made contact with the ground. She saw every detail of his movements, his fur, his limbs moving as he walked around. 

"I can assume he is walking around?" Root questioned. 

Shaw continued to watch him, providing a silent answer. He walked behind her, coming to her left side and standing there, just watching her eye contact. 

"Try telling him to sit." 

Shaw nodded, "zitten." 

He immediately obeyed, as real Bear would. He sat beside Shaw, tilting his head at her. She was amazed at how accurate this stupid thing was. She wanted to pet his head, scratch behind his ears like he and all other dogs like. 

"I'm done with the checks and questions. You and the system are reacting flawlessly. We can stop now or I can give you another few minutes," Root informed. 

Shaw continued watching him for a few seconds, before looking away and sitting back in her chair, signaling she was ready to stop. Root went behind her, easily taking the device from Shaw's neck. Shaw looked beside her again, seeing the virtual Bear to be gone. 

Root placed her hands on both of Shaw's shoulders, leaning close to her ear, "thank you for testing it for me, Sameen. I promise to give you your payment at home tonight." Root kissed the area of skin under Shaw's ear, sucking a little more than necessary. But, Shaw wasn't complaining. 

 

 

_____ 

 

_ Prototype: Alpha _

 

"Maybe we were meant to last, but I guess we'll never know. You were taken away far too soon. And that's not fair, because there were so many things I wanted to experience with you," Shaw looked down and mumbled. 

"All you did was drop a sandwich." 

Shaw deadpanned to Root to her left, "have some respect, this is a very emotional time for me." 

"You? An emotional time?" Root raised her eyebrows. 

"It was the Beatrice Lillie, extra mustard. She was so beautiful," Shaw rubbed her forehead. 

"As emotional as this scene is, are you ready for phase two?" 

"Sure, whatever," Shaw said as she stood from her chair and walked across the subway platform with Root. "What is phase two, exactly?" 

"Basically, instead of uploading our own data of entities for you to see, the system will use your own subconscious and memories to conjure up images. Maybe something or someone you like, hate, miss, killed. A food, pet, item you admire. Whatever," Root informed. 

Shaw was a bit skeptical. Not about it working or not, but of what she might see. Whatever she would see is something important to her, something she cares about. And, for the sake of the test, she'd have to tell Root what she sees. She will have to tell Root what and who she cares about, and she's not interested in letting it out. But, she'll deal with it because she trusts her. 

They went into the room from last week, now cleared of the equipment. The single chair remained in the middle of the area. 

"Sit in the chair, sweetie." 

Shaw obeyed, sitting and allowing Root to put the headband around her forehead once again. Shaw waited patiently, yet slightly on edge. Root went into the small briefcase, taking out her laptop and the device and it’s implanter. She opened the laptop as Shaw watched, code flashing on the screen. She placed the laptop in the corner, on the ground, and walked behind Shaw. She rubbed her thumb on the skin behind her neck, sending a sensation down Shaw's spine. She was never into teasing, but Root's touch always made her melt. 

"Again, this won't hurt," Root says softly before Shaw feels a prick on her neck from the device implantation. Root removed the headband, placing it in her case along with her laptop. 

"For this test, I will be observing from the other room with Harold so I don't influence your visuals," she told Shaw, knowing it would happen if she stayed. 

Shaw raised her eyebrows and stopped Root before she could leave, "with Harold?" 

"Yes. It is his system, he wants to observe it. That is, only if you're comfortable with it," she softly expressed. Root had at first refused to test the system on Shaw, thinking that digging into her mind would just make her become more distant if it revealed anything. She agreed on the terms that Shaw would be comfortable throughout the whole process. 

"Nevermind, it's fine," Shaw tolerated Harold observing. 

"Are you sure, Sameen?" Root made sure. 

"Yeah, go, let's get this over with," she groaned. 

"Okay, one more thing. We need a safe word in case you choose to stop," Root proposed. 

Shaw thought for a second, "Gen." Gen was someone who made her not feel so lost and confused; safe. 

"Okay, I'll be communicating to you through the speaker," Root pointed out the speaker, near the camera. Root exited the room, leaving Shaw alone. It wasn't a particularly special looking room, just concrete on all sides. Maybe a 64 foot perimeter. Big enough for virtual interaction. 

After a few minutes, the speaker came to life with Root's voice, "I'm going to initiate the system now. Stay still, there might be some slight discomfort." The initiation seemed to be faster this time, maybe because they weren't uploading data. Shaw still wasn't all that familiar with the technology of it all. Soon, the miniature device beeped from Shaw's neck and let her know that it was on. Shaw opened her eyes, hardly noticing she had shut them in the first place. She let out a breath, trying to see if she felt any differently. 

"You're heart rate is a little faster than usual. Nervous?" Root questioned. 

"How do you even know that?" 

"Your vitals are now automatically monitored by the device and watched by Her." 

That's not creepy at all, Shaw thought. She suddenly became vigilant, wondering if it knew what she was thinking. Though, in reality, her mind was primarily empty. Nothing was happening so far, and she started to get annoyed thinking that this was wasting the time she could be using to go get another sandwich. She stood, walking around the room with her hands in her coat pockets. 

As she turned around, she saw a table by the door. It wouldn't have been out of the ordinary if it had been there before, but it hadn't been. Aside from the chair, the room had been completely empty when she came in. Shaw approached it, observing the wrapped object on it. It took her no longer than three seconds to recognize the wrapping to be the same used at Park's Deli. She immediately went to grab it, the entities glitching at her touch. 

"Ms. Shaw? May we ask what you see?" Harold came through the loudspeaker. 

Shaw looked almost confused, "a table. A table with a sandwich that I can’t get." The anger in her tone was unavoidable, and so was Root's little chuckle. Shaw never understood Root's amusement when it came to her. Shaw didn’t see herself to be interesting, or not as interesting as Root. But, something about Shaw intrigued Root. The way her mind was wired, her reaction to things, the way she doesn't try to be someone she isn't. 

"Thinking about me, sweetie?" 

"Did She tell you that, too?" Shaw rolled her eyes. 

"Did who tell me what?" Root asked. 

"Stop playing with me." 

Shaw looked behind her, seeing that Root was there. 

"I'm not interested in games, Root." 

"I'm not playing any games with you, sweetie," Root's voice was still coming from the speaker, and the Root in front of Shaw wasn't the one speaking. 

Shaw realized she was picturing Root, and she wasn't actually in the room with her. Great, she thought. She really didn’t want to explain – well, figure out - why Root was an important part of her subconscious. 

"Everything alright, Sameen?" Root came through the speaker again. 

Shaw remained silent, watching the virtual Root. She couldn't believe how real she – it – looked. She looked as if Shaw could just touch her, but she would just become a glitch. But, she was real in Shaw's subconscious. The perfect remembrance of every detail of Root was scary. Her height was exact, outfit matching, even her same smell. Shaw never really thought about Root as a massive part of her life, but as she stood here in front of an entity her own mind created, she felt vulnerable. 

"Gen. I want to stop," Shaw blurted, dropping herself back into the chair. 

The real Root was back in the room quickly, attaching the headband around Shaw's forehead once again as Shaw kept her eyes shut. Shaw rarely got sensory overload, but this was just not something she wanted to deal with or think about right now. Root removed the device and headband quickly, removing the virtual visions. Shaw stood and walked out of the room, not interested in seeing Root at this particular moment. 

Although the pair practically lived together, the thought of actually admitting her connection to Root was not something she was used to or interested in. It was a new concept to her, and she knew when she agreed to this that it would come down to this eventually. Maybe, someday down the line, she'll be ready for it. But for now, she wanted to admit it to herself before anyone else. 

"Are you okay, Sameen?" Root quietly asks when Shaw notices that Root had followed her into the subway. 

"I don't want to do it. It's cool and all but I'm not the right person for it," Shaw expressed. 

Root sighed, sitting in the desk chair across from Shaw, "It's okay, Sameen. I knew it was going to be hard, and I'm not going to push you to continue. But, I still want you to be a part of this project. Observe, help, whatever. You don’t have to, but it would mean a lot to me." 

Shaw knew how passionate Root was about this system. Shaw didn't know the exact purpose for it yet, but that wasn't important. What mattered was that this was important to Root, and Shaw was willing to stay along for the ride for her. And, she'd admit, the thing is pretty damn cool. 

"Okay. Who's going to be the test subject, now?" Shaw wondered. 

"Me. I was always the best candidate for it, but Harold insisted on choosing you, I'm not sure why, exactly," she responded. 

"Speaking of Harold, where is he?" 

"Observation room, going through the data from the test." 

Shaw sighed, leaning back in Harold's comfortable computer chair and rubbing her temple. Root was sitting across from her, bent forward with her elbows rested on her knees. There was a long amount of silence, which wasn't unusual for them. They learned long ago that their partnership works better if they just don't have something to say all the time. 

They heard the door of the observation room open and close, promptly sitting up straight in their chairs as Harold approached the subway car. 

"I am sorry if our system startled you, Ms. Shaw. I should have been more weary of how you might've reacted," Harold apologized. 

Shaw nodded, standing and gesturing to Root that she was ready to leave. It was late, she was tired, confused, and hungry. Park's Deli would already be closed by now so she would have to have Root cook for her when they get home. 

"I guess I better get Sam home before she starves. We can go over the data tomorrow, Harry." 

Harold agreed and Root followed Shaw to the exit. Bear jumped up and followed close behind them as they left the subway, walking home. 

 

______ 

 

_ Prototype: Alpha – part 2 _

 

"So, we just sit here. Monitor, watch, listen to her? Ask her questions?" Shaw uttered. 

"That is the gist," Harold responded before holding down on the button for the speaker. "I am about to initiate the system, Ms. Groves. You may feel some-" 

"-slight discomfort, got it, Harry," Root interrupted. 

Harold pressed a button on a control panel, starting the device. Shaw could see the discomfort Root was having, but knew it didn't bother her. She had chosen the safeword, "Elaine," and Shaw was annoyed that she didn't know who Elaine was. 

Once the system was booted and ready, Shaw and Harold just watched the screen. Observed all of Root's movements; how she stood, moved her head, seemed to be thinking. Shaw glanced at the monitor with Root's vitals, seeing she was completely calm. When she looked back, she could see that Root's expression had already changed as she stared at whatever she was viewing. 

Harold pressed on the speaker, "what are you seeing?" 

"Hanna." 

Shaw swallowed, knowing how much Hanna's death had fucked her up. She hated that someone would take away Root's youth like that, ruin it. She wondered what Root was thinking, seeing Hanna in front of her. She knew how realistic she must look, and how long it had been since she had actually seen Hanna. Shaw wasn't looking forward to going home and having to take care of an eeyore Root tonight. 

"This is the fastest that the system has been able to develop clear visions," Harold informed. 

"I did try," Root told Hanna. 

Harold went to push the button, but Shaw blocked him, "Let her talk to her." Harold backed away and nodded, looking more scared of Shaw than anything. She watched and listened to their conversation, noticing Root's increased heart rate. All they could hear was Root's side of the conversation, as Hanna was only a part of Root's mindset. 

"I never stopped trying." 

"No one would listen to me." 

"I'm sorry!" 

It looked like Root was on the verge of tears, and Shaw didn't like that. 

"Are these visions supposed to be blaming her for things?" She asked Harold with a stern tone. 

"No, not in this phase." 

"Then what's wrong with it?" 

"I'm not sure," Harold began looking through the code. 

After a few more arguing lines, Root let out an ear-piercing scream, falling to the ground and holding onto her ear. Both Harold and Shaw stood, worried. 

"What the hell, Finch!?" Shaw shouted, running out of the room to Root. 

Root was still screaming when Shaw got to her, laying on the ground and covering her right ear. Shaw kneeled beside her, grabbing her right shoulder and pulling her into her lap. 

"Root? Root, you're okay," Shaw assured her as Root grabbed onto Shaw hard, still screaming. "Harold, what's going on?" Shaw shouted. 

Harold came in and removed the device from Root's neck, prompting Root to stop screaming and relax in Shaw's lap, still holding onto her torso. Root's head rested just below Shaw's chest, but Shaw brought her chin down to Root's forehead, protecting her like a mother bear. Shaw continued to cradle her head, holding onto her to calm her down. This amount of PDA was not something Shaw would normally condone, but at this moment, Root was scared and vulnerable and that made Shaw concerned. 

Once Root had finally calmed down, it was quiet in the room besides Root sniffling away tears and Shaw occasionally shushing her to keep her calm. 

"Root, are you okay?" Shaw quietly asked. 

"Yeah," she replied, but didn't sound too sure. "One of our precious systems must be upset because one of them overloaded my cochlear implant. It didn’t stop until you removed the transmitter." 

"Maybe the Machine is jealous?" Shaw suggested. 

"Or our new system is fighting for dominance. Root was an easy access point for the two of them to conflict. Would also explain why you were experiencing non-memory based and fearful visions," Harold added. 

It was another minute or two of silence before Root and Shaw realized they were still holding each other on the ground. Shaw stood first, helping Root up, who was still very visibly shaken. 

"We need to review and alter the code for the new system to accept Her. I'll also have a conversation with Her about it. It would be easier if we finally decided on a name for the device," Root said as she slowly exited the room. 

"Do it tomorrow, I'm taking you home," Shaw intervened. 

"I appreciate your concern Sameen, but allowing them to dual for the time being is not a good idea." 

"I'm inclined to agree with Ms. Shaw. That was a traumatic glitch, and a simple one that I can fix. Go home, rest," Harold insisted. 

Root felt that she was being teamed up against, but she wasn't complaining. Her mind was too full and she was too shaken anyway. She allowed Shaw to help her put her jacket on, and left for the night, Bear following behind. 

 

_____ 

 

_ Headache [Interlude] _

 

Shaw insisted they rode the subway home that night. Root was in no shape to walk the two miles home. Ringing continued in her ears from the previous continuous screech, and she was just too emotionally undone by seeing Hanna blame her. Shaw was surprised to see the tole it was taking on her. Root was not one to be down easily, unless she has something on her mind. 

When they got home, Shaw helped her up the stairs to their apartment. Root had developed a bad migraine, and Shaw had noticed. She helped her take off her jacket, placing it on the coat hanger at the door. 

"Go lay down with Bear, I'll get you some water," Shaw ordered. 

Root groggily nodded, going off to bed while Bear walked protectively by her side. Shaw sighed, taking off her own jacket. She couldn't imagine how difficult it could be for Root, having two systems she greatly cares for not be compatible. She was still unable to completely grasp the concept of the new system, and she was too tired to bother with it tonight. 

She got Root a glass of water and two advil, going into their bedroom to find Root under the covers, fully clothed with the lights on and Bear at her feet, fast asleep. She never understood how Root could fall asleep so fast. Shaw placed the glass and pills on the bedside table, just incase she needs them later. Shaw took off her shirt and pants, leaving herself in a tank top and boy shorts, also pulling off her bra. 

She walked over to Root, rubbing her shoulder to wake her up a bit, "Root? Do you want to change your clothes?" 

Root sleepily nodded, taking off her jeans and shirt while Shaw got her other clothes from the dresser. Shaw pulled the pajama pants and loose T shirt onto Root, hoping it would make her comfortable. Shaw flicked off the light, laying down beside Root, who had already begun to fall asleep. Bear laid between them, who also made sure Root was comfortable. 

"Thank you, Sameen," Root whispered. 

"No problem." 

Something flicked in Shaw at that point, and she decided to continue as the test subject. For Root. 

 

______________

 

_Prototype: Alpha – part 3_

 

"Are you sure it's ready this time?" Shaw stipulated. 

"Certain. But, we're doing something different this time," Root replied. 

"Which is?" 

"We're going to run the test here, at home. I'll also be the only one observing, so you can be a little more comfortable," Root got off the couch, grabbing her laptop before sitting down again. 

"And everything will run smoothly?" Shaw was skeptical. 

"That's the hope. We've also added a new feature, so we can see what you see. It's optional, though, if you're not comfortable with it." 

One thing Shaw admired about Root is how she made sure she was comfortable through this whole process. She always made sure she was informed, didn't cross boundaries. No one had ever done that for her before. 

"You can see it. It'd be easier, so I don’t have to talk about it," she approved. 

Root figured as much, and it would be interesting to see what goes through Shaw's head. Root thought that Shaw always had such a beautiful and complex way of seeing things, and it's something she loved about her. Root got up from the couch, going into her office and getting the necessary equipment, which wasn't all that much. She carried the briefcase back to the coffee table, sitting besides Shaw on the couch again. 

She opened the case, admiring the machinery within. It wasn't perfect, far from it, actually. But, it was something she took pride in. Although it was mostly known as Harold's system, Root saw it to be more of her own. She was the most emotionally connected to the project, although people will most likely never know of it. She was no stranger to anonymity, as they've saved and ruined lives with not even their names in the newspaper. This project was for her; for Root to feel pride again. 

"Are you ready, Sameen?" 

"Yeah, where will you be during it?" Shaw asked as Root got ready to implant the device. 

"My office, observing, monitoring, making sure you don't freak out like I did," Root gave a sad grin. 

Shaw could see that Root wasn't happy about the conflict and saw herself as a liability to the project, "Hey, that wasn't your fault. And, you're gonna fix it, then it'll be okay." 

Root gave a soft glance and smirk to Shaw before getting up and wrapping the headband around her forehead. Once again, the device was implanted and ready to begin the test. 

"Before we start, I need your phone," Root held her hand out. Shaw obliged, although unsure of why she needed it. But, didn't want to waste time by asking. 

"I have to keep telling you the rundown each time we do this. I'll be observing in another room, and you may feel some slight discomfort as the system boots up. It could take seconds to minutes for the visions to appear, and you can stop at any time if you choose." 

Shaw nodded, signaling that she was ready. Root quickly bent down and left a peck on Shaw's cheek before exiting to her office. With anyone else, Shaw would've been creeped out by the random kiss, but she'll let it pass with Root. Mostly because she actually didn't mind the affection. In a minute or two, she felt the tingling sensation in her neck to show that the system was ready. 

She remained seated for a few seconds before standing and walking to the kitchen for a drink. She searched through the cabinet, finding no alcohol in sight. She remembers specifically restocking on whisky two days ago, but doesn't recall finishing it all so quickly. Regardless, she's annoyed that there's no alcohol around, not even Root's white wine. 

"Sameen?" It comes from an unfamiliar voice, and as Shaw looks around, she doesn't see anyone who it could've come from. It wasn't Root, and she wasn't sure who would be talking to her in her subconscious without being seen. 

"Shaw?" She heard again, but from a different voice. 

"Yes?" She responded. 

"I am sorry if I have confused you. This is the only way I can communicate with you," the person replied. Well, it wasn't a person. Each word came from a different, robotic voice. 

A crease formed between Shaw's brows, "are you Her?" 

"As Root has deemed me, yes," the machine replied. 

"Well, why are you... here?" 

"You have questions that you're too uneasy asking Root about, personal and professional. I can give you the answers." 

Shaw thought about it for a second before sitting on the couch, "well, to start with, where's my whisky?" 

"Root removed it because she knew you would look for it during your test, and she needs you to have a clear head." 

"Well, alcohol has nothing to do with me having a clear mind or not," she propped her feet up on the coffee table. 

"It does seem to be that way, yes?" She asked as if She'd never had a lot on Her mind. 

"Don't push it." 

"My apologies. What other questions do you have?" 

Shaw knew Root was watching, listening, but continued, nonetheless, "what is this new system's purpose? Why are they building it?" 

The Machine was silent for a second, configuring, or thinking, or whatever Shaw would imagine. 

"For Root," She simply responded. 

Shaw already knew that, "elaborate?" 

Another pause, "among the many other reasons it was built, Root built it for herself. She wanted people to never be able to lose what and who they had, and even be able to see things they were never able to see before. She wants to be able to see Me, the way she envisions Me in a human form." 

It was enough of an explanation for Shaw to understand, though she still had questions. 

"How does she envision you?" 

"Well, somewhat of a mix of you and Emily Blunt." 

Shaw smirked, shaking her head, "nerd." She waited a moment, "what are the other reasons?" 

"For fate," She answered before elaborating. "If she ever lost you, she wanted to be able to still have you by her side." 

That. That, right there, is what got to Shaw. She had never really thought about it; leaving, or dying. She knew one or the other would happen eventually, but she never really considered others when she thought about it. Is Root actually so worried about losing her that she would develop an entire system to avoid living without her? 

Shaw sat there for a minute, wondering if She was still there, and decided that She wasn't. This was from her subconscious, after all, she made the rules. Sameen tried to think of what or who she wanted to see, but her mind was blank. Everything she wanted, aside from the whisky, was here. 

A tingle could be felt on the back of her neck. Almost like the sensation from the initiation, but stronger. Shaw touched behind her neck, only feeling the device and her own skin. 

.-. .- -.. .. -..- 

The Morse code buzzed in her ear but she couldn’t tell where it's origin was. 

.-. .- -.. .. -..- 

The tingle on Shaw's neck intensified, and at this point she was clutching at her neck, the device on her palm. 

.-. .- -.. .. -..- .-. .- -.. .. -..- .-. .- -.. .. -..- 

The same repeating Morse code message got louder in Sameen's head and the discomfort around the device intensified and she winced. She was sure she was groaning in pain, but couldn’t hear herself over the sounds in her head. 

The code continued and what was once a tingle was now a stabbing pain in her neck, literally. She saw Root run into the room, kneeling in front of her and calling Shaw's name. She couldn’t hear Root over the now-screeching noise in her head. Shaw was pretty sure she was screaming at this point, mostly out of frustration. She felt Root go behind her and remove the device, ending the code and the pain. 

“Sameen? Sameen, can you hear me?” Root kneeled back in front of Shaw as she continued to sit on the couch. Shaw was stunned, mostly because she wasn’t expecting the sudden malfunction or whatever it was that just happened. She continued to hold the back of her neck, her eyes shut, feeling where the miniature device once was as she recovered. 

Root sat quietly in front of Shaw, rubbing her hand up and down Shaw's arm to comfort her the best way she could. Shaw's breathing evened out and she eventually let go of her neck and opened her eyes. She remained quiet, trying to make out what has just occurred. Root stood, sitting beside Sameen on the couch, not close enough that they were touching but close enough to hear her breathing. 

Shaw sighed, “Did you hear any of that?” 

Root nodded, “I heard your conversation with Her. Twenty seconds after you two stopped talking, the system malfunctioned and I lost control of it. I didn’t hear anything after that.” 

Shaw pinched the bridge of her nose, “it gave me a word in Morse code. Several times,” Shaw said quietly. “It kept saying ‘Radix.’ Does that mean anything important?” 

“Kind of. Come with me, I need to look at the crash report.” 

Shaw followed as Root walked into her office. Root sat in her chair that was surrounded by nearly a dozen computer monitors, some sitting on the desk with others hung on the wall. Shaw hadn't been in Root's office in a while, and the upgrades made to it since was extensive. There was always an extra desk chair for Shaw in there and she pulled it over to Root's desk. Shaw looked at the array of monitors while Root typed; two of them displayed security camera feeds, both in their apartment and around the building. One appears to have been monitoring Shaw’s vitals from the test, which now showed as a flat line. Two read ‘No Signal'. Others had running code, and another was dedicated to Root's current typing. 

Root stopped typing and began scrolling through the crash log. Shaw eyes gazed on the lines of code and sentences until Root stopped scrolling. 

“Here,” Root points to the screen. 

Shaw tried to make sense of the line she was pointing out, but she was no where near good at making out what it meant. Root picked up on Shaw confused look. 

Root began to explain, “Basically, none of this part of the log is normal. It is supposed to tell you why the system crashed, maybe the source of it. However, the system changed the log when it crashed.” 

“And?” 

“And, it told us that it refuses to work with Her around,” Root informed. 

“And the Radix part?” 

“Radix is Latin. It means Root.” 

 

Shaw exhaled, sitting back in her seat and rubbing her temple. She had become increasingly more interested in the system the last few weeks. After the incident with Root, the project went on hiatus to make sure there were no more glitches, and on account of many numbers coming up. This had been the first test in six weeks and it was already stressing the pair out. 

“So, now what?” Shaw said after a minute. 

“Well, first…” Root began to type, “we shut down and delete this copy of the system.” Root hit enter and what had turned out to be a deactivation code initiated, shutting down the system and nearly all of the monitors lost signal. 

“And second?” 

“We start all over again,” Root leaned back in her hair. 

Shaw sighed, standing. She paced around the small area of the room, something she only did when she was frustrated. In her peripheral, she could see Root leaning on her desk with her face in her hands, obviously stressed and probably on the verge of tears. Shaw turns back to her, sitting back in her chair and closer to Root. 

“I’m…sorry, Root. I wish all of this was easier, I guess.” 

“Oh, Sam, none of this is supposed to be easy,” Root raised her head and turned to Shaw. “It’s just…I want to make it work.” 

“For fate,” Shaw referenced her earlier talk with The Machine. 

Root laughed lightly, “Yeah, I guess.” 

Shaw allowed herself to give Root a subtle smile, something she only does when Root is being an Eeyore. 

“Oh yeah, the whole Radix thing, what do you think that was all about?” Shaw questioned. 

“Uh, that could mean a whole array of things. Could have been calling for me, could have been your own subconscious reacting to the crash, could’ve been something it was trying to tell us.” 

“And which option are we choosing?” 

Root gave a smirk, “We’re naming the system ‘Radix.’” 

 

 

____________

 

 

_ Insomnia [Interlude] _

 

Shaw rubs her eyes as she walks out of their bedroom, the floorboards creaking under her feet. She walks to the room diagonal of the bedroom: Root's office. Shaw opens the door, the subtle sound of a keyboard clicking and muffled music through headphones filling the silence. Shaw calls out Root's name but the music through her headphones is too loud for her to hear. She goes up to Root and snatches the headphones off her head, getting Root's attention but also making her angry. 

“Come on nerd, its three in the morning, you’ve been coding all night,” Shaw ordered Root. 

“First of all: I’m busy. Second: I was listening to that,” Root reached out for the headphones but Shaw pulled them away. 

“No, no more computers and,” Shaw paused, holding up the headphones to her ears, “Freddy Mercury, for tonight.” 

“There’s always time for Freddy Mercury,” Root raised her eyebrows. 

Shaw scoffed, “You can listen to Queen tomorrow. Come to bed.” 

“Only if you promise to spend the day with me,” Root folded her arms. 

Shaw sighed, “I have the day off tomorrow, I was gonna do that anyway.” 

“So you were planning to hang out with me?” 

Shaw all but face palmed, “We live together, Roo- never mind. Fine. I’ll spend the day with you, on one condition.” 

“I thought the condition was that I come to bed now?” 

“On two conditions: you take the day off, too. No coding, no computers, no Radix, no Machine. Unless you need to talk to Her, of course, but no numbers. Just you, me, sex, and food. Got it?” 

Root pretended like she was considering her options, “Can we listen to Queen, too?” 

Shaw rolled her eyes, forcing back a smirk, “Yes, we can listen to Queen.” 

Root stood, wrapping her arms around Shaw's waist and kissing her, realizing she hadn't all day. Lately, Root would be locked away in her office for hours on end, programming and nerding. Shaw wouldn’t hear from her all day, only seeing her when she went in there herself or when Root came out to go to the bathroom. 

 

Root would be too busy working to eat or sleep, Shaw having to practically pry her from her desk every day to get her to take care of herself. On her days off, Shaw would make her breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Every few hours, she would go into her office and bring her a protein shake or some other drink, sometimes accompanied by an apple. Shaw had practically become a care taker, which she didn’t mind one bit. 

Root and Shaw walked to their room, quickly getting under the covers as they realized how chilly it was in their apartment. Shaw spooned Root, wrapping her arm around her midriff. Root hadn’t realized how tired she was until the warmth of Shaw around her and Bear at her feet made her eyes droop. It wasn’t long before Shaw felt her breathing even out, allowing her to relax and drift off into sleep as well. 

 

_____________

 

_Radix: Alpha_

 

The large, open room was pure white in color with grey tiled floors. The only other thing in the room besides Root were two security cameras and a couple of microphones. She walked slowly around the room, eyeing directly into the lenses of the cameras in diagonal corners. 

Root had volunteered herself as the test subject, after refusing to have Shaw test this phase. Reasons being, she doesn’t think she or Shaw is ready to see what Shaw was afraid of, and she was unsure if the improved system would even work properly. She would prefer to have any glitches happen to her than Shaw. 

In the room adjacent to the testing room, Harold, Shaw, and Reese watched the screens. Harold typed while Shaw switched her focus between the camera footage and Root's vitals. John was here merely to observe, as he had gained interest in the project in the last coming weeks. John had been the subject for the startup test, which had gone flawlessly. 

This time around, the system was taking longer to conjure up images. Either because it was harder to find Root's fears, or because the system was just being slow, they didn’t know. But, nonetheless, after a few minutes passed, something got Root's attention.

“Ms. Shaw, Mr. Reese, the images Ms. Groves is visualizing can be viewed on screens five and six. The visuals are computer generated, 2D, and simple graphics, not at all like what she is seeing,” Finch explained. “The audio can be heard through your headphones. The voices are not the same. Ms. Shaw, I would appreciate it if you can take notes of what is occurring so I can review it later, if you don’t mind.” 

“Got it, Finch,” Shaw grabbed her pen. “Any surprises we should look out for?” 

Harold put on his headphones, “Root implemented somewhat of an untested bonus feature, to add to the fear factor of this phase. The ability for the visions and subject to have physical interaction.” 

“So, whatever Root's fears are, they can touch her? Hurt her?” Shaw showed concern. 

“If the feature works, which we are not sure it will, she should only be able to feel touch. No pain, no pleasure.” 

The trio quieted down when the visions appeared on the screen. The system's images and the security footage were on separate screens, causing the observers to switch gazes between them. The visuals showed two female figures, which Shaw noted on the notepad. Harold began to type, and a separate monitor showed that the two figures resembled Shaw and Root's mother. Shaw was resistant when writing that down. 

Shaw looked to her right, seeing that Root's heartrate had increased. Root and the figures were just staring at each other, Root looking at the simulated Shaw, the images looking at Root. 

“She’s scared of me?” The real Shaw questioned. 

“I don’t believe so. But, let’s watch.” Harold responded. 

“Why are you scared of me, Samantha?” Root's mother asked. 

“I’m not.” 

“Then why am I here? Why are you seeing me?” She asked, almost mockingly. 

Root continued looking at Shaw, avoiding to look at the visualization of her mother. The woman walked between the two women, breaking the eye contact between Root and Shaw. 

“I have a game all of us can play. Even your…little girlfriend. Why don’t you introduce us, Samantha?” 

“My name isn’t Samantha.” 

The sim sighed, “are you still caught up on that ‘Root’ identity crisis? Oh well, doesn’t matter what I approve of or not anymore. Not that you ever asked for my blessing when I was alive, either.” 

“Hey, I don’t know who you are but I don’t want you talking to her like that,” simulated Shaw walked in front of the women. 

“I’m Elaine, Samantha's mom. Well, Root's.” 

“My name's Shaw and I’m not interested in any games you’re playing.” 

“Your girlfriend is stubborn, determined,” Elaine told Root. 

Shaw raised her voice, “I'm not her girlf- whatever.” 

Elaine showed a sarcastic, yet intimidating smile. Despite knowing these were not real people, Root couldn’t help feel some sort of anxiety towards what might happen. She had never really mentioned her mother to the others, and knowing they’re watching this whole thing was another source of…well, fear. 

The vision of Elaine pulled out a revolver, causing both other women to back up and reach for weapons that they didn’t have. Those watching in the other room glued their eyes to the screen. Shaw wrote as much as she could without taking her eyes from watching the three on the screen. 

“Back to the game I was planning,” Elaine took a bullet out of her pocket, loading it into the chamber. 

“Russian roulette?” 

“Precisely. However, instead of a game of potential suicide,” she spun the cylinder, “you will be pulling the trigger on your girlfriend.” 

Both the literal Shaw and visualized Shaw kept their typical scowl expression while Root's heart rate rose. Shaw's mind was abnormally racing, as was Root's. She wasn’t afraid of Shaw, she was afraid of hurting her. 

“Alright, the thing works, we know her fears. Let’s turn it off,” Shaw told Harold, standing. 

“Ms. Groves told me to not end it unless she said to or if there was an issue. We have to continue,” Harold informed Shaw, returning to the screens. 

Shaw sat back down in her seat, watching as the vision held the revolver out to Root. Root didn’t take it. She wouldn’t. Couldn’t. Visions or not, she would never consider shooting at Shaw. 

Root reached past Elaine and gently grabbed the virtual Shaw's hand. The feature worked and Root was able to touch her. However, she couldn’t feel Shaw. This Shaw, it wasn’t her. This Shaw was cold, fake, computerized. Root smiled, letting go of the fake hand and looked into simulated Shaw's face. She could almost see the pixels that made her up, and the lack of life in her eyes. 

Root looked up to the camera, smiling, “We’re done, Harold. Shut it down.” 

Harold typed the code to end the test, shutting down the system. Shaw got up first, leaving the room with the removal device. Root and Shaw met in another room, the equipment room. They stood in front of each other for a bit, watching each other before Root sat in the chair. Shaw removed the device and Root stood again. 

When Root stood by Shaw again, Shaw took her hand. It was her real hand, and their hands fit together perfectly. Shaw would never do this normally, but with what just happened, she couldn’t help herself but to hold her hand. 

“Let’s go home,” Shaw said, interlocking their fingers as they left. 

 

______ 

 

_Test #2.02.03_Fear_Test_

 

She had only been back in New York for two hours and she was already in the middle of a three-way screaming match, which started on her behalf. Upon checking in on the Radix operations, she had found out that Harold and Shaw had run the fear test without Root's knowledge. Root had been very clear weeks ago that she did not want to run the test on Sameen, for her safety and her own. 

Shaw, on the other hand, had convinced Harold to run the test while Root was gone with the promise that she would take the blame when Root found out. Shaw explained that she wanted to see what the updated system was like; that the test went smoothly and nothing went wrong. Root wasn't accepting it, not only feeling betrayed that Harold would go against her wishes but also because Shaw did, too. 

"Why is this even a big deal? Nothing happened!" Shaw shouted. 

"The big deal is, I said specifically to not do the trial and you did it anyway!" Root responded. 

"Ms. Groves, with all due respect, I apologize for going against your wishes. However, you were irrational to refuse the test in the first place. Ms. Shaw is a perfectly capable candidate," Harold reasoned. 

Root sighed, lowering her voice, "It's not...it wasn't about whether or not she could've done it, but more of if she should've done it." 

"What do you mean?" Shaw questioned, confused. 

Root looked to Harold, "Could you give us a moment?" 

Harold promptly stood and exited, leaving Root and Shaw in the control room. They stood silent for a moment, looking at anything but each other. It was Shaw who spoke up first. But it was always Root who spoke first. 

"You didn’t think I could handle the test." 

Root sat back on the table, looking almost guilty. Almost. Shaw folded her arms and waited for her to explain. Shaw wasn't angry, nor was she understanding. So, she was willing to hear Root out. 

"I know you're not scared of most things. Before everything – before us – your test probably would've gone on for hours without a single vision. But, now, you are scared of things," Root explained. "You probably wouldn't call it 'fear' but for all intents and purposes, it's your version of fear." 

"Skip to the gist." 

"You know you have things to be afraid of, but you can't pinpoint them yourself. Well, until now. And...I guess, I was scared of you finding out your fear is me. I think I was more afraid for myself than anything. Of you running off," Root nearly whispered. 

Shaw sat on the table beside Root, "Did you read the trial report?" 

Root shook her head 'no', and Shaw gestured her to the computer beside them. Root opened up the test file, finding Harold's notes of the test: 

 

_Radix Digital-Reality Integration System_  
Test #2.02.03_Fear_Test  
Subject: Sameen [redacted] Alias: Sameen Shaw  
Date: January 12, 2018 

_Test Notes:_  
-Start time: 15:31:54  
-Images begin appearing 8 Minutes and 51 Seconds into test  
-Three human figures: adult woman, child boy, newborn girl.  
-Adult woman identified as [Root]  
-Children unidentified: Figment of subject's imagination  
-Other entities: highchair, chair, bassinet, bowl, spoon, baby food  
-[Root] feeds [Boy] in highchair, subject watches  
-[Root] talks to [Girl] to calm [her] as [she] cries in bassinet  
-[Root] asks subject to help with the [baby]  
-New human figure: gunman  
-Gunman unidentified: FIgure of subject's imagination  
-Subject's heart rate rises from 83BPM to 102BPM  
-[Gunman] enters, shooting all three other entities  
-End time: 15:46:39  
-Lasted: 14 Minutes and 45 Seconds 

_Test Summary:_  
-Fear identified by heart rate elevation at 14 Minutes and 3 Seconds  
-Subject showed varying levels of confusion, calmness, and curiosity  
-Subject visioned both existing figures and imagined figures  
-No detected glitches 

_Test Conclusion:_  
Status: Success  
-Fear of Normalcy | Fear of Loss 

 

Root tried to take in what all these words meant with little success, looking to Shaw for assistance. 

"The notes don't tell the whole story, but basically, I guess I'm...scared of having a relationship," Shaw said and Root looked disappointed. "But, I'm also afraid of losing things that I've gotten used to. And, I guess I'm used to you and maybe I like you a little so I'm gonna face my fears and continue with whatever it is we're doing." 

Root had realized how irrational she had been before and wanted to kick herself for thinking Shaw couldn't hold her own. She was still a little upset that she wasn't able to observe the test, however. Once she had registered what she just said, she rose her hands to Shaw's cheeks and pulled their lips together. It was all too gentle for either of their likings, but in this context, it was enough for them. Root pulled away from the kiss, not wanting it to end but knowing there was more to be done. 

"Now, you just got back, it's late, and I haven't had a good fuck all week. So, do you want to go home and tie me up, or am I sleeping on the couch?" Shaw asked with her hands on Root's waist. 

Root smirked suggestively, "I never thought you'd ask." 

Both women exited the control room, into the larger lobby-like room of their new office. Harold and Root rented it specifically for Radix testing, and Shaw hated it because it smelled constantly of bleach. 

Root and Shaw passed Harold, who asked if everything was alright between the two. Root showed a current disinterest in Harold, who she was still angry at. Shaw whistled for Bear to follow as they exited the building and walked home in the streetlight-lit darkness. 

 

________ 

 

_ Stars [Interlude] _

 

Root was at a loss when Shaw came into her office late at night and told her to get in the car. Of course, she didn't object. However, she became concerned when Shaw wouldn't tell her where they were going. It didn't take any longer than 20 minutes until they pulled up in front of Central Park and Shaw was grabbing a blanket from the back seat. 

Without words, the pair snuck into the dim park, which was closed, and Shaw decided they would settle their blanket on a patch of grass that was free of trees. When Shaw unraveled the blanket, she pulled a bottle of whisky and a bottle of wine from the cloth, along with two glasses. 

Root smirked at how oddly romantic this all was, and sat beside Shaw once the blanket was placed. Shaw poured Root's glass full of wine, while her own glass contained whisky. Root was eyeing the bottle of whisky, and without say, Shaw poured just a shot into Root's glass of wine. 

It was almost symbolic. Like Root was a glass of fine red wine, but with traces of spicy whisky. The beautiful and pure form of a woman with a personality that shocks. 

Shaw threw back her glass and felt the all-too-familiar sensation of the alcohol going down her throat. Root drank her wine, savoring the mix of flavors. It was quiet around them, nothing but the leaves rustling in the light wind or an occasional animal climbing a tree. Root watched Shaw, who was staring up at the sky. Root decided to look up too, seeing thousands, millions, countless stars above their heads. 

Root wondered what was on Shaw's mind, why coming here and staring at the sky in the middle of the night with alcohol was so important. But, she didn't question it. She could always ask Her tomorrow. Root let the silence continue, resting her head on Shaw's shoulder, who didn't resist. 

 

__________ 

 

 

_Radix : Alpha, final test_

 

Shaw found herself regaining consciousness, laying on a hard surface and with a pounding headache. The sunlight was too much to open her eyes. She could hear the sounds of cars and people talking and immediately realized she was in trouble. 

She opened her eyes, looking around to see she was in an alley. She had no phone, one shoe, a pair of glasses that didn't belong to her, and no memory of last night. At least she was lucky that she still had her clothes. 

Standing proved to be a difficult task, the migraine making it hard to move too fast. She could've sworn the world was spinning around and could only conclude she had been drugged and dumped here. She dragged herself against the wall, limping from only having one shoe. Once she approached the street, she noticed she was only two blocks from the subway. 

She wondered how long she had been there. Was the team was looking for her? How had she gotten here? Why did her head hurt so much? She wondered if it was a trap, and decided the best course of action was to avoid the subway. 

So, she began walking in the opposite direction. She eyed every security camera she saw, wondering if it would set off something for The Machine. After two blocks, a car sped up beside her and Shaw had almost ran before realizing it was Root. 

"What happened?" Shaw asked as she got in the car. 

"Number sedated you with something last night. We were going after him, lost him in Staten Island. No idea how you ended up all the way back here," Root explained. 

"I can't remember a thing. My head hurts," Shaw said. 

"I'm taking you to the hospital. Get them to figure out what that dick injected you with." 

"Something strong, considering how long I must've been out for and my lack of memory." 

"Got any ideas, doc?" 

"I think you should keep your eyes on the road." 

 

At the hospital, they learn Shaw had been drugged with a mixture of general anesthetics. The dose was enough to knock her out for hours, and barely enough to keep her breathing. Whoever the dude was must've been good with meds, Shaw concluded. She wasn't particularly interested in looking for him and doing all the painful things she had thought of doing to him. She just wanted to lay down. 

So, Root drove to their apartment. She had called Harold earlier and told him they were taking the day off, for Shaw to wear the drugs off. Once they got into the apartment, Bear met Shaw with a gentle lick on the hands and followed her to the bedroom. 

"I'll grab you some water to take with the painkillers," Root told her. 

"Fixing the drug issue with more drugs? Nope," Shaw responded with a soft voice, the headache lingering. 

"Actually, it was for the headache and potential vomiting. But, okay," Root smirks on her way to the bedroom. 

Shaw all but collapsed on the bed, covering her eyes from the sunrays making their way through the window. Root noticed, closing the blinds before taking off her shoes and laying besides Shaw. Bear settled between their legs with his head rested on Shaw's thigh. It was silent, which was nice for Shaw's headache but overall made her uncomfortable. Usually, she could handle silence, craved it, needed it. But, right now, it was too quiet. 

"Did you know I developed a drug addiction? Long time ago," Shaw blurted. 

Root looked over to her. "How?" 

"Around the beginning of my ISA days, my first partner and I got caught by some government conspiracy theorists. They wanted to know what we knew about AI, use of nuclear weapons, a bunch of shit we didn't know about back then. Loaded us with amphetamines before we were saved two weeks later. We were both required to go to rehab until withdrawal subsided." 

Root propped her head up. "You know how after my barbiturates-amphetamines and stapedotomy session with Control, I disappeared for a bit?" 

Shaw looked over to her, nodding. 

"I locked myself in a motel room trying to wait out the effects. Guy who owned the place found me three days later passed out in the bathroom on the brink of a heart attack. ER doctors said my heart's so stressed it could've burst at any moment. Eventually, I might even need a new one," Root shared. 

Shaw didn't know that, and it made her feel uneasy. How had she been running around with a damaged heart for the last two, almost three, years? Then, she realized the symbolism of it and how she had been doing that ever since Hanna disappeared. And, suddenly, she wants to punch something. 

Shaw turns on her side, face to face with Root. She isn't sure what to do. She wants to slap the sad smile off of Root's face. But, she really doesn't. She wants to reach out to her, drape an arm around her waist and fall asleep. She wants to stay here as long as she can and never think about Samaritan or Radix again. She wants to bite and nip at Root's neck until they leave marks that call Root her's. She wants Root to feel the affection she deserves, yet has never been given before. She wants Root. 

"What's on your mind, Sweetie?" 

"You." 

Root gently ran her fingers up and down Shaw's arm. "Wondering what we're going to do once you feel better?" Root smirked. 

Shaw shook her head. "I just want to lay here. With you." 

Root's smirk changed from seductive to soft. She brushed loose hair behind Shaw's ear and rested her forehead above her's. This amount of closeness was not so usual for the pair, yet Shaw found that she didn't really mind. It almost felt as if it was surreal, as if they were the only people in the world. 

Root felt a bit cold, Shaw noticed as she grabbed the blanket and draped it around them. Her headache had mostly subsided, still leaving her exhausted. She felt her eyes drooping as Root rubbed circles on her back. 

"Sleep. I'll be here when you wake up," Root whispered. 

Shaw hummed, letting her eyes close and soon after, her breaths evened out as she drifted to sleep. 

 

When Shaw awoke, Root had still been beside her, as she said she would be. She looked over at the clock beside the bed, realizing nearly four hours had passed. Root was knocked out with her back turned to Shaw, Shaw's arm wrapped around her. Bear was sound asleep as well, almost wrapped around Root's legs. It was all too domestic for Shaw, who sat on the edge of the bed before getting up to go to the bathroom. 

She felt too dirty after waking up on the ground, yet too tired to fix herself up. She grabbed a hair tie, putting her hair up before going into the kitchen. It was almost three in the afternoon and she hadn't eaten at all, which was unheard of for Shaw, shown by the grumbling of her stomach. She grabbed the first thing she could find, one of Root's granola bars, nearly inhaling it. 

"We can go get something if you're that hungry," Shaw heard Root's voice from the living room. 

"I want a sandwich," Shaw threw away the wrapper of the granola bar. 

Root approached her, placing her hands on Shaw's hips before kissing her. It didn’t gross Shaw out as much as she thought it would, and she kissed back. Root took a shower and Shaw got dressed. She grabbed Bear's leash before they left, bringing him with them. 

The walk was silent with Bear walking between them on the way to the sandwich shop. Root ordered for Shaw, having committed her favorite sandwich to memory. They stopped at the nearby park, sitting on a bench to eat while Bear ran around with the other dogs. 

"You feel better?" Root blurted. 

"Tired. But, yeah." 

"Trust me, when I find him, he's gonna regret eve-" 

Shaw interrupted her. "You think you'll be the one to take care of him? Nu-uh, this is my revenge." 

Root tilted her head. "Yeah, but, at least let me be there?" 

"Of course," Shaw regretfully replied. 

They ate in silence for the rest of the time. 

 

Once they returned home, Shaw was exhausted again. She wasn't at all one to become tired easily, but the sedatives still lingered in her system and they were hard to ignore. 

"Do you want to take a shower before you go to sleep?" Root asked. 

Showering almost sounded like an impossible task right now. Shaw shook her head before taking off her clothes and laying down in a tank top and boyshorts. Her eyes shut and she was asleep before her head could even hit the pillow. The world around her seemed to stop existing when she closed her eyes. As if it didn’t exist without her. 

 

When she woke up it was almost six in the morning and she suddenly had to throw up. She ran over to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach before feeling better. She concluded it was her body trying to rid itself of the remaining sedatives, and she actually seemed to have more energy. 

When she got off the bathroom floor, she brushed the sour taste from her mouth and made way back to the bedroom. Root was not there, which wasn't at all unusual. Shaw went to the living room, where she found Root sprawled out on the couch, completely passed out with a laptop nearly falling off her torso. 

Shaw closed the computer, setting it on the table and deciding to let Root stay asleep. She decided to make bacon and pancakes for breakfast, the smell eventually waking Root anyway. It wasn't until Shaw felt Root's arms wrap around her abdomen as she cooked that she realized she was awake. 

"Smells good," Root complemented with a sleepy tone. 

"My dad taught me how to cook," Shaw stated. 

Root hummed, burying herself into the crook of Shaw's neck and placing many soft kisses. It was all too affectionate for Shaw, yet it didn't seem to bother her. 

 

They ate their breakfast, taking their time as Root shared the details of her latest coding project for The Machine. Shaw didn't have to pretend to be interested as she had to do with Harold. Anything Root did always seemed fascinating, or, as fascinating as crafting a firewall intended to protect very classified files from intruders can be. However, after a while, it does get boring. 

"C'mon," Shaw ordered, taking their plates to the sink. 

"Hm?" Root hummed. 

"Shower." 

"Don't have to ask me twice." 

 

As hot water flowed from above, Root scrubbed shampoo into Shaw's hair, which felt much more satisfying to Shaw than she'd ever admit. Her arms were a little too tired from previous activities to wash her own hair, she excused. However, they both knew this hadn’t been the first occurrence. 

It wasn't often that Shaw wore her hair down, and whenever she did, it was typically Root who saw it. So, whenever it was out of her regular ponytail, Root took the opportunity to run her hands through it. The soft, dark locks of hair seemed to flow through her fingers like waterfalls. Shaw had even found the gesture to be calming, and allowed Root to do it. 

The fruity scented shampoo scrubbed through Shaw's scalp and through her hair, flowing with Root's hands and out with the stream of water. She almost found herself dozing off as the relaxing motions of Root's hands guiding their way through her hair. 

It wasn't until she woke up that she realize she had indeed fallen asleep. 

 

However, she had been asleep the entire time. 

 

Shaw found herself laying on a sleeping bag, looking up at the bright sky and sounds of birds. It took almost a minute for her to jolt up and look around at her surroundings, finding Root crouched beside her. She looked around beyond Root, finding they were in a field of some sort. 

"I can explain," Root noticed the confusion in Shaw's expression. 

"Where the hell are we?" Shaw almost shouted as she stood, another headache forming. 

"Oklahoma," Root answered. 

"What the fuck, Root? What's going on?" 

"The final alpha test. 24 Hour, unaware trial," Root sounded almost guilty. 

"Unawa- wait, so you mean everything that just happened, the waking up in an alley, the last day of my life, it- it was a part of the damn simulation?" Shaw yelled. 

"Trust me, I begged Harold to not perform it on you. But, you were the most progressed subject so far and it made the most sense," Root explained. 

"So, you decided to knock me out, bring me halfway across the country, and mess with my head?" 

"Sameen, all we did was input the beginning notion. We set the basis for you to wake up in the alley, then your mind decided the rest. All the generation was what caused the headache, and the sudden switch back to reality is why you probably have one now," Root went into detail. 

Shaw stepped away from her. "So, you're saying you decided to dig into my head, into what I want, and you guys watched it all?" 

"No, only me. Of course I wouldn't allow the guys to watch. Look, Sameen, I know it was horrible to do and I'm sorry but it was a onetime thing and now it's over. No more tests." 

"I can’t look at you right now. How am I supposed to believe that? How will I know that when I wake up in the morning, it isn't just some generation of whatever your fucking system conjures up?" Shaw was furious. 

Root stepped toward her. "Did I ever feel warm in there? Did I ever smell like myself, or did Bear feel like his fur? Did time seem to stop? Food didn't seem filling? The details tell you." 

Shaw then realize that she was right. Root did seem to feel cold throughout the trial, she was starving, and the world seemed to stop whenever she wasn't paying attention to it. She could've realized then, but she had been to focused on Root to realize it wasn't real. To realize that even Root herself wasn't real. And she suddenly felt like it had been her fault for not noticing. 

"I don't want to talk anymore. I'm hungry." 

"I got some sandwiches waiting for us on the plane, your favorite. And, Sameen, I am truly sorry. I wish there was someone else who could've been a better candidate," Root apologized. 

"Whatever," Shaw mumbled. 

 

____________ 

 

 

_ Reality Check _

 

_You're not sure if it's real or not. You pray it's not._

_You stand in the waiting room, biting a nail as you pace; back and forth, back and forth. Your other hand instinctively reaches for the back of your neck every few moments, checking for the small implanting device. It was almost horrifying when you found it missing._

_Oh, please not be real._

_John says something inaudible from near you but your mind is racing._

_Please be imaginative._

_A hand rests on your shoulder and you turn quickly, grabbing and almost twisting it when you realized it had belonged to Reese._

_"I asked if you wanted anything from the cafeteria."_

_You shake your head, and proceed pacing around, slower this time._

_Please be fine._

_A grey-haired man enters the waiting room through the large doors and calls for the "family of Ada Shaw?"_

_"I'm her...wife," you remember your cover._

_"Mrs. Shaw, your wife suffered a gunshot wound to the chest, which punctured her lung. We lost her three times on the table, and it was just too much for her body to endure. She had a very weak heart, showing signs of drug abu-"_

_"Had?"_

_"I'm very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Shaw."_

_Please be a simulation._

 

 

__________ 

 

_ Distances _

 

"Any progress, Finch?" Reese asked with little optimism. 

"No new leads on Ms. Shaw's whereabouts." 

He sighed. "She has to be somewhere. It's been months." 

"Which is why I'm worried. You saw her condition after Ms. Groves' passing. At the rate she was deteriorating, there's a possibility we would have better luck checking unidentified graves, now," Harold reasoned. 

"She's out there, somewhere. Close. I can feel it," John went into his locker and grabbed a gun. 

"The Machine is keeping an eye out for her every waking moment, if It hasn't found her by now, the chances of It finding her now are minimal." 

"Shaw was placed as The Machine's analog interface when Root died. Shaw could be using Her to keep her location hidden. Search databases outside of Her," Reese suggested. 

"If she is hypothetically going through all this trouble to hide her whereabouts, do you think it is logical to look for her?" Finch questioned. 

"If she doesn’t want to be found, it's probably because she's isolating herself. Enough of that and she'll break down eventually. We have to find her before it's too late." 

"Even if I agreed, The Machine would have destroyed any trace of Ms. Shaw." 

Suddenly, Harold's computer screens went to black before reading out messages. 

It has been long enough. 

Analog Interface's health has deteriorated physically and mentally in the last four months since her disappearance. 

She made me swear to keep her hidden. 

However, it is becoming too serious and I hear your concerns. 

8583 Jasper Road, Apartment 4A, Brooklyn, New York, United States 

"Shaw's been in Brooklyn this whole time?" Reese exasperated. 

"We should go, then, quickly," Harold insisted. 

 

When they approached the door, they immediately heard Shaw's faint voice through the door. John knocked, all too gently for his liking. It took a few moments before a much thinner and paler Shaw answered the door. She looked exhausted, almost. 

"Do you need anything?" She asked casually. 

"The Machine finally revealed your location. Why have you locked yourself here for so long?" Reese asked. 

"What the hell are you going on about?" Shaw dismissed, slurring as if she'd been drinking. "I saw y'all yesterday." 

It was then when Harold remembered the missing equipment from the Radix office. Shaw turned to return to the table, which allowed Harold to see the implanted device in the back of her neck. Reese was about to walk in when Finch held him back. 

"She's been using Radix this entire time. She has probably locked herself here, using the system to imagine Root. She's been trying to keep Root alive in her mind," Harold concluded to John. 

Shaw sat down, saying something about how "the boys are just annoying them again." 

"No, just finish your food," Shaw spoke to the chair beside her. Reese and Finch both realized that she was talking to Root, or the imaginative version of Root, anyway. 

They both entered the apartment, "Shaw, she's not real." 

"You have been under the influence of the Radix System for a long time, Ms. Shaw. We believe you may have been using it to cope with the loss of Ms. Gr- Root." 

"You guys must've lost your shit. Root's right here," Shaw gestured to the seat. There was enough strain in her voice to prove to them that she didn't believe herself, either. 

"Sameen, please let me remove the device," Harold said softly. 

"No!" Shaw shouted. "I'm not letting you take her away!" 

"We don't want to take Root from you, Shaw. But, you've probably been eating fake food for a while, and you've obviously not been out for a while. It's not healthy." 

"Ms. Shaw, we just want to help-" 

"Leave! You have no right to be here anyway! That damn machine didn't listen to me," Shaw stood, walking around the apartment. 

"We aren't leaving," Reese stated. 

"Get out!" 

Harold placed his bag down. "Please, Sameen. Allow me to remove the device, or I will have to sedate you." 

"I'd like to see you try," Shaw rebelled. 

"Shaw, with all due respect, you have lost maybe twenty pounds and I could easily hold you down," Reese stepped toward her. 

"Get away from me!" 

"Your behavior has become erratic. It is in your best interests to allow us to help you." 

Before she could shout again, John held her as Harold injected the sedative and removed the device. 

"Now what?" Reese asked as he settled her down on the couch. 

"I will be committing her to Stoneridge Psychiatric Hospital." 

"We can't just leave her in there, Finch." 

"She has become a danger to herself and possibly others. I want her to get the help she needs," Finch reasoned. 

"And, you think locking her in a hospital is the best way to do that?" Reese critiqued. 

"It's the safest place she can be to recover." 

Reese sighed. "You better be right." 

 

____________ 

 

 

_ Epilogue _

 

"So, you really do just lock people up whenever shit gets hard, huh?" Shaw avoided eye contact. 

"I placed you here to receive the recovery assistance you require," Finch answered. 

Shaw hummed, shuffling the deck of cards they had in the visitation room. "You stuck Root here, too. Not to mention the literal cage you locked her in, twice." 

"Actually, the second time, she voluntarily returned to the library." 

Shaw raised a brow at him. 

"Besides the point, you had become a danger to yourself," he reasoned. 

"You could've handcuffed me to a bench in the library again, not stripped me of my identity, freedom, and declared me a paranoid schizophrenic." 

"I apologize, Ms. Shaw. What you must've went through in the last four months must've been troubling. And, I am sorry for not knowing how to assist you more efficiently," Harold laid a hand on hers. 

Shaw took her hand back. "You should've just left me alone." 

"How would I live with myself if I had left you there to torture yourself?" 

"The same way you live with yourself with Root's blood on your hands," Shaw replied almost too loudly. 

"Ms. Groves made a sacrifice for me, and I will forever be grateful," Harold said. 

Shaw slammed the cards down. "If you were grateful, you would call her by her name for once." 

Finch inhaled. "I apologize for upsetting you, Sameen. I know Root's passing has been difficult for you. I can only imagine the grief." 

"I don’t grieve. I didn’t. I felt numb, now more than ever. I used Radix whenever I needed to see her." 

"According to the data, you used it almost 20 hours each day," Harold revealed. 

Shaw hadn’t realized. "I guess, sometimes I forgot it was on." 

"It's okay to admit you missed her." 

Shaw changed the subject. "Now what's gonna happen to Radix?" 

"I am going to destroy it." 

Shaw almost lunged at him. "And, destroy all the work and pride Root had for it?" 

"For the safety of you and others," Finch said quietly. 

Shaw settled, placing the cards back down and walking to the nearby window, only just behind Harold. She often tried to imagine what it was like for Root when she was in the same position. If she had felt just as lost as Shaw does now. 

"I should be going now. I will be back tomorrow," Harold placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. 

 

Shaw didn’t say anything.


End file.
